Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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