At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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