I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
