Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
