i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
