obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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