I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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