That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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