I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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