Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
