it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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