I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
