I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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