Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
