NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
