I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
