You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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