Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
