Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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