nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
