Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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