No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
