Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
