i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
