Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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