So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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