We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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