You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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