I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize