I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
