The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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