You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
