I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
