the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
All the doctor said was why
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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