the new term for farting is butt boxing.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
