Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We need to get me chipped asap
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
