Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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