I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
