i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
