We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
