Acid is not a monday night drug
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
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