just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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