I forgot how hot balto sounded
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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