I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize