She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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