I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
