sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
