do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
