It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
