Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
