One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
