I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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