so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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