i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Randomize
