If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
