were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.