He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
