You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
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