Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
