R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize