im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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