Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.

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  (770): I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass. http://tfl.nu/0fum
  Replies (48) Good night (1052) Bad night (3098)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.

  (256): View more from Alabama

  that was the beginning of the end.

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  (256): So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school. (256): that was the beginning of the end. http://tfl.nu/usmt
  Replies (23) Good night (739) Bad night (3571)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...

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  (603): the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing... http://tfl.nu/ohtd
  Replies (61) Good night (635) Bad night (4287)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it

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  (603): my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it http://tfl.nu/xy2b
  Replies (3) Good night (2917) Bad night (1105)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.

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  (615): I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag. http://tfl.nu/vhx8
  Replies (8) Good night (5062) Bad night (1151)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.

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  (937): I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad. http://tfl.nu/m8mw
  Replies (13) Good night (5378) Bad night (898)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.

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  (281): Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment. http://tfl.nu/djy3
  Replies (3) Good night (1134) Bad night (2605)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.

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  (614): If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health. http://tfl.nu/8ftn
  Replies (7) Good night (1587) Bad night (935)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.

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  (940): This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying. http://tfl.nu/0zt5
  Replies (2) Good night (708) Bad night (1029)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to

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  (865): if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to http://tfl.nu/lehr
  Replies (8) Good night (1506) Bad night (623)
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  (323): View more from California

  I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw

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  (323): I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw http://tfl.nu/ax52
  Replies (8) Good night (870) Bad night (1286)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.

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  (704): Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom. (615): My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you. http://tfl.nu/pnfc
  Replies (3) Good night (902) Bad night (367)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.

  (406): View more from Montana

  YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.

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  (570): HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS. (406): YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE. http://tfl.nu/futb
  Replies (2) Good night (764) Bad night (279)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back

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  (775): Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back http://tfl.nu/jyyl
  Replies (1) Good night (452) Bad night (276)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..

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  (732): Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say.. http://tfl.nu/7n6y
  Replies (3) Good night (512) Bad night (259)

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