Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong. http://tfl.nu/lm91
  Replies (6) Good night (1434) Bad night (1143)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I think I am morally bankrupt

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I think I am morally bankrupt http://tfl.nu/yusq
  Replies (29) Good night (2579) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories

  (239): View more from Florida

  He could rock you to sleep

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories (239): He could rock you to sleep http://tfl.nu/6xlx
  Replies (28) Good night (4095) Bad night (1231)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out. http://tfl.nu/g8zl
  Replies (27) Good night (5529) Bad night (2673)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again http://tfl.nu/gicy
  Replies (6) Good night (3535) Bad night (980)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk http://tfl.nu/tgll
  Replies (4) Good night (3064) Bad night (1180)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me. http://tfl.nu/3nre
  Replies (4) Good night (2469) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips. http://tfl.nu/4kys
  Replies (1) Good night (2374) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony http://tfl.nu/iwpl
  Replies (6) Good night (1006) Bad night (1669)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out. http://tfl.nu/7oni
  Replies (15) Good night (2643) Bad night (869)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever. http://tfl.nu/lrkg
  Replies (7) Good night (2367) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical? http://tfl.nu/u7vi
  Replies (2) Good night (597) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity. http://tfl.nu/mwyr
  Replies (6) Good night (624) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile (1-570): FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile http://tfl.nu/2z1a
  Replies (0) Good night (1104) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS. http://tfl.nu/4s6u
  Replies (0) Good night (621) Bad night (335)

Randomize