They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.