Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.

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  (513): I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House. http://tfl.nu/zhy5
  Replies (27) Good night (858) Bad night (2865) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life

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  (302): Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life http://tfl.nu/pzmw
  Replies (67) Good night (5794) Bad night (1103) Order T-Shirt
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  (980): View more from North Carolina

  How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?

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  (980): How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail? http://tfl.nu/xsa7
  Replies (20) Good night (903) Bad night (5593) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?

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  (330): Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket? http://tfl.nu/lptb
  Replies (48) Good night (1554) Bad night (7136) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here

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  (850): Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here http://tfl.nu/hhg1
  Replies (16) Good night (5275) Bad night (1051) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school

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  (954): It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school http://tfl.nu/yqnn
  Replies (27) Good night (5109) Bad night (1039) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.

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  (601): Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back. http://tfl.nu/ihr9
  Replies (2) Good night (2073) Bad night (791) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?

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  (253): We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this? http://tfl.nu/8b98
  Replies (7) Good night (2356) Bad night (1366) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.

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  (563): She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me. http://tfl.nu/so2a
  Replies (35) Good night (7476) Bad night (1221) Order T-Shirt
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend

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  (931): everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend http://tfl.nu/stvz
  Replies (9) Good night (788) Bad night (3940) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can

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  (919): I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer (919): Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can http://tfl.nu/61hu
  Replies (4) Good night (1476) Bad night (872)
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  (916): View more from California

  He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.

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  (916): He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex. http://tfl.nu/zvxf
  Replies (10) Good night (506) Bad night (1856) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"

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  (724): oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis" http://tfl.nu/2s94
  Replies (10) Good night (1105) Bad night (324) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.

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  (307): I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left. http://tfl.nu/b2xd
  Replies (2) Good night (883) Bad night (321)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker

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  (307): I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker http://tfl.nu/4xt0
  Replies (6) Good night (1000) Bad night (284) Order T-Shirt

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