Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
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The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
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I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.