ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold