Will you blow on my dice?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
