i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
