When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
