so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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