Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
